Thursday, June 10, 2010

Pity Post

Well its not been a very nice 3 days, hence why the 3 blog posts a day ceased for a little while.  For a start I was told that I was moving departments...I don't want to, I love my manager.  I am losing my office...I don't want to, I love being on my own.  AND to add to all of this, I had a run in with the PR department...JOY!!!!! All this in the last week. 

I also think I am experiencing mid life crisis.  I know, I know, many would say that I am only 30, but since I have turned 30 more than 2 months ago I have been living in panic mode.  I have heard stories of women who had their biological clock start ticking at 30, they wanted kids, to settle down, to "build a nest".  I have gone in the opposite direction.  I have started having vivid dreams of leaving everything behind, and jetting off to New York on my own.  I've investigated teaching English in Germany and moving there.  I've had the urge to follow our initial dream of living and working in Dubai.  I have even toyed with the idea of moving back to India.

Now you might say this is natural and with no kids should be easy enough.  The reality is it is not...not for us.  We spent a fortune moving from Melbourne to Perth, we have 4 pets who are our babies, we would not be able to go unless we rehomed them.  I hate feeling helpless, of not having a plan, of not being able to  move forward.  My heart is breaking, I cannot be here, I feel like I am slowly but surely suffocating.  I just cannot be here. 




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